Chapter 1 – Fear and Loathing in WeHo.

I don’t know why I do this anymore, but something in me is compelled to stay alive. Call it survival instinct, or maybe even a touch of narcissism, but my mind won’t let me fade away. So I seek forms of escapism: alcohol, sex, and digressing in a shitty WeHo bar, one of the few I’m certain is safe from familiar eyes. If I can’t be destroyed, I might as well drown away any true sense of self. Right now, my vices, vici, vicises….whatever, are to guzzle fermented beverages and act out the major ups and downs of a life now so starved for meaningful human interaction, that it reaches out to its very self through monologue. I’m all that I’ve got, and like most people, the older that I get, the more that I am confronted by my own mortality.

I look around me now and realize that I have no legacy, but by the looks of my inebriated comrades, I’m in good company. Nope, I have left no positive, lasting mark on the earth. Yes, there are those very few who would miss me for a short while, but they would inevitably move on like healthy minded adults should. My death wouldn’t be that much different from my current life, existence rather. And it’s for this reason, a hundred years from now, no one will know that I existed except for a government consensus, on a computer database, in a cold government storage facility; I’ll be just another nameless number to reference voting habits, tax margins, and population records. Well, that and a cautionary tale in the annals of lesbian history.

Don’t misunderstand me. I wasn’t dealt a bad hand. I did this to myself. You see, I am Bette Porter; art mogul, gallery owner, Yale graduate in the top 2% of her class, and high-life mover and shaker of the City of Angels. I own the art world. I am the art world. Anyone who’s someone or wants to become someone comes through me. Talent or not, if you have the will and desire to give me your soul, you will know fame and fortune. I could sell a soiled napkin for tens of thousands of dollars. All you have to do is sign the dotted line and you’ll receive your fair share. I used be known for my impeccable taste and far exceeding standards, but now, now if it’s money, it’ll do.

My work, better known as my life, has been the reason for my existence since that fateful night, exactly one year ago today, when Tina Kennard walked away. My wife… Tina… My life… I’m not sure anymore. She barely escaped with her own soul. Apparently, my abilities are not limited to my work. It would seem that I devour those around me without thought or intention. Alice once called me a psychic vampire, and while she’s lovably insane enough to generally laugh off, this one time I cannot seem to shake her words.

I walk into a room and I empty it of air. I speak to you, touch you, show you even a modicum of attention, and like a siren’s call, you’ll follow me to your death on the rocks of my shore. Without even the slightest intention, I own the hearts, minds, and very souls of those that I encounter. Some would pass it off to my physical presence, but this once, at least to myself, I will admit that I believe Alice may be right. I am a vortex of pain and suffering for any who fall under my gaze. Don’t misunderstand. I don’t think that highly of myself, quite contrary actually. But there’s not a fucking thing that can be done about it. I have no idea why I became this way, I just did.

My wife… Tina… my life… Sigh… She was drawn to me. But at the time, I wasn’t this self-involved. Over the years, as I became this way, she saw who I was, how I was, but loved me anyway; she loved me in spite of it. I was surrounded by her light and warmth but still managed to find the darkest, coldest corner to shelter in.

Tina was my polar opposite. Where I was controlling and hard, she was easy-going and soft. Where I was aloof and cold, she was present and warm. She was my tether, my kite string, and without her I am so very lost. But that’s the way of it, isn’t it? I had the one thing in all-the-world that I needed, more than anything that I ever thought that I wanted, and I cast it away like so much garbage the minute some new piece of Candy was placed in my mouth.

More than that, she could be with me and still retain so much of herself. Not to say that she was unaffected. No, in the last year that we were together, she was most definitely becoming affected; she lost her autonomy, her sense of self, all in the pointless pursuit to hold me down and keep me grounded. But somehow, even at my worst, she was not swallowed whole. She is, quite possibly, the strongest and most gracious woman I have ever known. She has always been the most beautiful, inside and out. From the moment that I met her, I was the one taken in and lost completely. Oh what a way to go out.

Continued in Chapter 2 – Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

30 thoughts on “Chapter 1 – Fear and Loathing in WeHo.

  1. Fantastic writing!!! Have truly enjoyed this version of their story. You’ve done an incredible job and have such great insight. As a greedy reader, I surely hope you have more of this wonderful story to give us. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was absolutely fantastic. I didn’t want it to end. I can’t wait to read more from you. This would have been awesome acted out on the show. Thanks again for posting.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks all for the uplifting comments and support. I worked really hard on this story. I may continue it. When I finished it last night, I didn’t want it to end. I was enjoying myself too much. But, I write what comes out. I don’t really make a plan. So, it ended when it decided to. The only problem with a sequel is, let’s face it guys, when things are all sweet and lovey dovey and your leads are together, everyone gets BORED. EVERYONE. People want PAIN. I just don’t have the heart to continue to torture these girls, but, who knows? With Sam coming back soon and our two ladies taking it slow, maybe I can find the suspense to keep you interested.Now, I have a question. Where’s the criticism? I actually only posted this to try and grow as a writer. The fanfic communities are so helpful and forthcoming, and, starving to read so much that a writer can get instant gratification and feedback. Was the humor too slap stick? Did anything not make sense or need better description? Tell me what’s lacking as well as what you liked. I’d be eternally grateful.


  4. Well Vag, (may I call you Vag?) I don’t have education nor the background to offer a “writers” feedback. The way I read this story was like listening to a classical piece. You are the literary Mozart and the keyboard, your keys. Especially if this was off the dome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You may call me Vag; I’ve been called worse. 😀 Education and background don’t foster taste. I appreciate being compared to Mozart, he was a genius of his craft, but don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, this needed work.” You don’t have to be an intellectual elitist for your point of view to be valid. Thanks for the kind words though.


    • Firstly, I have no other fanfic writings. This was my very first and I don’t post things that are ongoing or incomplete. I go back and change a lot as things progress with each proofread or added chapter. As an avid reader as well, I find there’s nothing worse than getting into a story that’s never finished. Secondly, I will be sitting down with my laptop to see what else comes out, but it won’t be posted until it’s complete, and that’s if it even happens. I make no guarantee’s, but I’ll give it the old heave ho. Thanks for the encouraging words.


  5. Excellent story. I really enjoyed your version. Very very good writing. I was a bit puzzled at first … just rewrite? what’s new? And then I became addicted, and I don’t want it to stop. Great great job. I’d love to read another story from you. Bette & Tina in a drama very different, very far from the TV show. I know it’s a lot of work…but maybe…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am writing the continuation as we speak. It’s coming out without a problem. I’m only 2 chapters in so it’ll be a while before it’s ready, but I’ll post as soon as it’s done. I don’t think you’ll find this story has been done, at least not quite this way either. Thanks for all the encouragement!


    • I always been an avid reader and used to write a lot of poetry, but didn’t start really getting the fiction author itch until recently. It just sort of happened and I’m enjoying myself tremendously. It’s a lot of work though.


  7. What an amazing story, one of the best things I’ve read on the site. However, it has made me lose sleep as I’ve been awake till 4am reading it, just couldn’t stop, every time i was gonna, you dragged me back in again! You’re asking for criticisms but don’t think i really have them, the humour was spot on, the emotions realistic, it was all very engaging. Loved it and can’t wait to read your sequel! Thank you for posting it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This story is amazing it has taken me two days to read it and i couldnt wait to get back to it, I have no idea about writing but as a reader it had everything, it was amazing to read.Im so happy that your writing more Icant wait to read it, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Read the whole thing in a few hours. I don’t know what to say… just WOW! It’s amazing. I’ve loved every bit of it. Thanks for posting this amazing story.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The sequel is moving along but it’s been difficult to write. There’s just too much shit going on. It’s hard to juggle it all. I’m excited to see it completed though. I thought about posting the first chapter just to tease you kids. I really appreciate all the support and I expect better criticisms. Also, a big shout out to jp22 for her private input. It helped a lot. I may go and revise this story once the continuation is complete. I’d say two to three more days at most. I’ll keep you posted.


  11. Great story!!! Emotional but well written, thank u for this wonderful story…I know this is the first one of ur series, I’m looking forward to the others, but honestly a little scared too…….cause I kinda of peeking the final one (can’t help it!) and shockingly found the end is so unexpected….. Hope u will still continued the series and not ended it like that, I will still find the courage and interest ccontinuing read the follow-ups though for respecting ur great effort. Thx again

    Liked by 1 person

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